Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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