and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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