i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
