is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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