Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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