shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
She even gives head with a lisp.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
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So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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