Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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