i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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