So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
