please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Too much gin, very little bucket
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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