Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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