Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
