do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Randomize
