its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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