I should be sponsored by Trojan
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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