Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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