Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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