I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
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you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
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I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
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