Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
