You work out of a Hotel?
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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