I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
