Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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