i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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