Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Watching her eat just hurts me
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
