STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
