i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
