PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
