awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
