I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
