Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
