awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
