But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
