Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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