I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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