The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
My vagina just clenched in fear
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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