Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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