dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
