She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he tried to convert me to islam
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize