Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
