oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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