I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
