I wanna bring you to show and tell
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
