I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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