which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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