youre lurking in front of me
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
