Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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