is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
