wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
