You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
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It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
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WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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