I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
