tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
it glows. i had to have it.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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