i may or may not be watching the land before time
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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