Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
