Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
