hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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