he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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