So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
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