Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
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