Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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