I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize