Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
