i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
