Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
