My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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