wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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