Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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