Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Randomize
