The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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